What’s between LIKE and LOVE?

13th February 2010, 5.24 p.m. - As of now, I’m hanging around at my grandmother’s place with probably only thing left to do is cook, which rarely involves me in it. If it were any consolation, I try not to ruin my family’s heritage that includes very good tasting food. So, I’ve decided to open my laptop and write what ever that’s on my mind. If for some odd reason this post makes it to the blog site (which is the one you’re reading  now), do not ask why, just wonder.

The nights before weren’t the most sleep-worthy kind of nights. Normal person’s term, nights with good sleep. It was dreadful and I find myself waking up to unusual times of the day. One day it was 6.30 in the morning, another 12 in the afternoon. In fact, two days ago it was 4 in the morning. Then today came and it was complicated. I was tired but it felt like it was a good night’s sleep. Whatever was i dreaming, it sure was one hell of a dream (it was that good) but the darn thing is that I can’t remember a thing. Note : My pants was dry.

One thing’s for certain, I had the sudden urge to get someone flowers for Valentine’s Day just the heck of it. It was a feeling that it was something that I should do if not I’d be restless the whole of Chinese New Year eve. Childish and as simple as it may sound, I just feel like standing outside her house, hoping while waiting for her dad to kick me out of the neighbourhood. Forgive me if it looks like I copied this out of a movie script. But then again, movies are the closest thing to our fantasy and imaginations. 

While google-ing for the nearest florist to her house, (to save on delivery cost) a thought hit me. Where’s the sincerity? A stranger delivering flowers to me with a card saying “Every girl should receive a dozen roses on Valentine’s Day, even those who weren’t looking for one, Scrubs” only shows one thing. He is dumb fool who is at the same time, unromantic at all. I imagined her calling me on the phone, “Eh bodoh! Don’t waste your money la! Gosh!”

With a scratched out plan, readjusted thoughts, I quickly packed my stuff and went downstairs to join my family as we set to leave in 5 minutes time.

The journey, ah the journey…. I think I snuffed weed or something because the 15 minutes journey felt like 2 hours as I filled my mind with mostly repeated thoughts of whether or not should I let the moment slide away like any other day. After much bickering, it had became apparent that it’s getting into me and that I should wish her and get over with it. Though I shall not ask her to be my valentine, I think I should express how I feel, for it would set me free! (BS!)

Therefore, I have chosen a word to sum it all up. No fancy words and eye catching effects, or even a video with a song dedication to accompany to it. To say ‘I like you’ is an understatement. To say ‘I love you’ is way too much. Crazy and stupid and more importantly, I’m not at that level. So, I chose ‘I adore you’. Adoration comes in between the both extremes. Philosophical as it sounds, it is the only way that I can be truthful and simple at the same time. Hallelujah!

I hate Valentine’s Day… It’s messing with my mind… And I allow it…