Hello after..

In all creation, I wouldn't expect to be back here again, writing another post. I mean the last time I was here, it was Chinese New Year and life was simpler, so to say. A sigh could very well represent everything that has happened in the past 5 months. Friendships rotated, while some may have remained the same. Workload most certainly has increased. Experiences teaching a thing or two about living. Someone new to cause infatuations and joyful feeling in the heart. A luggage full of complications (what's new?). LIFE suddenly looks promising in a strange new way. Again. What's new?

I do not wish to dwell on these things in detail. I would rather you come to me and communicate like a normal person would.

If there's anything bothering me right now, it is definitely the fact that there is too many things to do. There is probably a million and one things that I want to do but nevertheless, the things that I need to do like get an education is being a big enough weight, pulling me further and further. Some time for my camera sounds like a wish come true.. Where are those damn planes? *Sigh* Being able to write good songs now and then sounds like a plan. Even a good period of time and budget for a short film or two would be 'Hallejulah!'

But then again, I'm still learning the trades of all these things. I would never dare call myself a professional in any of those things. Simply put, I'm just trying my best to be very good at what I like to do. Like my dad constantly grinding me, "It's always important to be very good at something" It appears that I'm never satisfied. Gosh.. if only i've started liking these sort of things much much earlier.. I would not have to be struggling my socks off like how I am now.

Hmm.. as of now, I'm back on track with my education, it's time to pull off great feats of *something that sounds awesome* There are plans but I need help planning it and executing it *sounds like a business plan* But then again, I might know a few awesome people to help me pull off my awesome plans... Heck, you know what they say about plans... It never turns out the way you want it to.. It'll be interesting to see what comes out.

Till next time, more ranting and evidence of my ill-managed life.

A story of a late blooming 'banana'

It's funny how some people react when they finally get the 'free' time they have been dreading for all eternity. While the most typical thing to do is taking a trip down the isle of Dreamland, others just resolve to doing the things they usually would try to avoid. In my case, updating this utterly, perculiar love hate relationship with this web page. I mean, the sub heading on the top says it all. With all due respect towards myself, I have yet to display any level of recognition to be even considered a feature in any form of writing. However, do bear with me while I share a tale that comes deeply into my heart.

The thing about discovering what your passion is sometimes, it takes a while for it to surface. It is like a shy little rose bud, which with proper nuturing, blooms into something beautiful. The thing about my rose buds are that they bloom fashionably late. I have arrived at this cruel conclusion through a series of realisations and an agonising memory tracing session while I was bored staring at the walls, with my guitar resting smoothly on my chest.

According to my parents, while I was still a naive six year old, I made a hell of a protest against going to a chinese school. My valiant effort to recall details of that faithful event was like any other attempt of trying to ever remember anything, useless. In fact, while part of myself was grateful for the above beginner's level of english, part of myself still rue the inability to speak my mother tongue fluently.

Fast forwarding to the end of high school, I found myself accomplishing a lot, but nothing worth mention in any honorary roll. I was a seventeen who was clueless of the world that was about to heap on his shoulders. At that time, little did I knew I was about to be thrown into a pool of sharks when I signed that letter of acceptance into A Levels programme. The only good that came out of it was the accidental introduction to the world of mass communication. Now, in an odd way, calling myself an university dropout like it was something to be proud, I'm starting over from the bottom, with only one thing in mind, success. (That was so lame sounding)

Now, when almost everyone is ahead and they look so distant, I'm trying to catch up. I've probably been catching up all my life. My only hope now is that somehow, I'll be able to catch up and then stop myself from ever falling behind. I have nothing but clear memory of how difficult it was, mentally and emotionally, to be on the slow lane when everyone is on the expressway. There was never a day where I do not look back and think how things could have been any different. After all is said and done, I can only be thankful to God that I'm back on track. Slowly but surely, I will be able to live out my dreams and passion, instead of only watching from the sidelines.

A gal named Asha and a very big 'fish tail'...

Going back to when you were all were small.... I mean really small... young... naive... innocent... you get the point! Do you have anyone who you just wished you'd be one day... and don't give me answers like my dad and probably all the noble and cool things that he has done..... Look back for things like Ultraman or Superman (and that mesirable attempt to wear your underwear on the outside...) What about Batman (and your paper made gadgets)... and for the girls, Barbie perhaps? Haha.. My bad... okok.. Wonder Women? or that chick who kick the guy in the @#$%?

Well I didn't have any... (maybe Spidey once because of Mary Jane) Just messing around...

I grew up knowing too many cartoon or comic characters while working on Comic's Corner. Probably too much for my own good. But then, I started to watch 'Lonely Planet' and 'Globe Trekker' on tv... one of the few channels available on I had first Astro... That was a long time ago... But from then onwards I can honestly says I really wanted to be one of them.... I mean all I see them do is have fun on tv while exploring a country through the eyes of a local.... No need for troublesome villians and leaking out, if not obvious secret identity... Seriously, Clark Kent without his glasses?

There're couple of them on the show but I only remembered this two, Ian Wright and Asha Gill... and they made me even more jealous of those people on travel shows...

And if I were meet to one of these 'misery bring-ers', I would tell them to pack their bags, a new host is coming along... A few days ago, I did meet one of them... And I didn't do it... I was simply in awe when I stood in front of that person....

Wiping off cold sweat from my forehead, I entered the large and almost blizzard like atmosphere of a hallroom. As I sat down on the third row, I couldn't help but peep at this tall, short haired brunette who was sitting down in the first row, taking in the vibe from the crowd before she started her talk. In all jittery, I too eventually soaked into the surroundings and on the verge of breaking breaking my back, thanks to the all so comfortable chair of lecture hall 1.

She gave quite an animated talk I must say. In my opinion, a speakers is only as good as how much he or she can relate to the audience. Long before this sentence, you've might already guessed who am I talking about. Or probably didn't even reach this part of the story to even care. As much as she has shown the 'kid' in her, she also gave everyone a large slice of her personality. She was simply a fun box that explodes randomly whenever it felt like it. And it shows when she started shouting 'fire' to explain how she avoided random men who were grabbing her bottom in a shoot in India. Or the way she moves in a cartoonish feature around the podium.

At the end of it all, I carried the weight of twenty elephants as I dragged myself to say "hi". It was a moment of sheer blankness (is that even a word?). Snap!

Thank you God for my height!

I kinda looked like a 'dweeb' next to her ain't I? After skillfully shooting down all the butterfies in my stomach, I shook her hand and said how it was nice to meet her and how i enjoyed her talk. LAME... I know right? Should have just ask her out or something for the heck of it.... I'm definitely should have done better than that...

Leaving for work again was a tiresome agenda... Felt like 20 miles of hiking in fact... Along the way, I couldn't help but wonder about some of the things she said like you argue with your parents so much because you're the carbon copy of them. It's because you're just like them, most of the things they tell you are terrifyingly annoying because you already know it and it's inside of you. Something to think about yea? She also talk about how she did so many things in her life because she was clueless on what she wanted to do... Sounds kinda familiar... These are what she labeled as 'fish tails' in life. Everytime you make changes in life, you swing your 'tail' from one end to the other. Every swing pushes your life forward. I just have this gut feeling that I'm about to make one very big swing.... Full speed ahead.....

Referencing : thestar.com.my, photoguides.com

Whoosh, like assignment already...

P.S. "Stay hungry, stay foolish", Steve Jobs

Having a guy humming Neil Diamond next to you while you are trying to research for an assignment is not very ideal situation to be in. So does the fact that the library computer is excruciatingly slow and you can't seem to get what you're looking for. I'm most certainly not appreciating this moment of my life. Thus, that painkiller suddenly seem so tempting. But then again, since college started, when hasn't it? Sorry, self emo-ing is definitely not my thing. For now, I shall leave you with an unnecessary fact for you to ponder on. (I got it from listening to Hitz.fm, P.S. JQ, you can skip this)



TOP 5 Uses Of The Internet in 2007/2008 (if i'm not mistaken)

1)To stream/watch pornography materials
2)To view samples of pornography materials
3)To download pornography materials
4)To subcribe to pornography websites
5)To upload pornography materials

*I need special help*

P.S. I can't wait for Saturday

Familiar grounds, Starbucks, and blinking promises.

It was a happy farewell... surprisingly... I dedicate all the best of luck to my two friends who help made A Levels fun ( A very rare pair, A levels and fun )... We had it at TGI Fridays and planned to have a surprise 'birthday party' eventhough their birthday was so far far away. but hey! it's never to early to celebrate anything. True to the Fridays traditions, both of them did sing (actually only the guy) and found the cherry in the pile of cream which was pushed to their faces. Anyways, thanks a lot you two, from the bottom of my heart. Chia Khuan for bearing my broken 'hua yu' and Wey Kiat for always tumpang-ing me... Most of all both of you for being a friend.. Have a blast at UK!

Chia Khuan

Wey Kiat (Centre)


Streamyx is being very annoying again.(Refrain from swearing, man) How long can one take to renew an account? 7 working days, maybe I'll accept, but 2 weeks?! I have no comment. Nothing at all. So, my post would be very irregular these few weeks. Even right now, I writing this at Starbucks. It's kinda sad I have to really admit. B&^%H...



Finally, I managed to play basketball after a long while. Gotten rusty... Back aching... Oohh..but heck, it was fun running around with Zac, Aaron, Imran, Amirul, Teoh and his brother(which i have yet know how to spell his name)... Ash joined us later for cc... that was just funny to even think about....

Enough said for now... I don't have the mood, blogging from cc. More pics to be uploaded soon from the farewell...

P.S. I sincerely pray that I'm able to do what I need to do... Amen...

Mischieves And Defamation

I was chatting with JQ just now. Sorry, no scandal happen. One thing lead to another and I found myself being questioned whether I am a homosexual or not. With all the respect I have for them, I denied the allegations and went on by stating I was pretty sure about it. Being JQ, she'd always give a very straight forward suggestion, kiss a girl. Finding the idea rather odd and very interesting (wonder why?) I asked which girl in the world would accept a kiss from a guy just prove that he's not a homosexual. She laughed. No question to why that happened. But in the end, how can you be sure of your own sexuality? You might say, I just know. In the end, I told her that one of these days I might randomly come and say, ' JQ, I need to know' and the actions that followed (Don't get it? GOOD!) Then, she called Amirul. He and I had a pep talk. Which resulted in me being scrutinised for scaring JQ and being unsure of my sexuality. All in all, I have no further comment, we're still cool, you know what i'm saying? (PR Gimmick 101).

Time to brain-storm about nonsense... Stare at the wall...

Le Roman D'Amour

Have you heard this line before, 'I'll wait for you as long as it takes', or something like that? (I'm not a big fan of cheesy lines). I was reading this blog post about how a guy(my friend) who patiently awaits this girl(also my friend) to respond to his overwhelming love. As long as I remember knowing him, he has always had his eyes on her. That was 6, 7 years ago. And all this time this girl has been rejecting him time after time after time. Maybe they had a spark or two which i didn't know but hey, point blank fact, they didn't officially get together. But, he's still waiting... I wonder what's he waiting for? Hope? Miracle? A Fairy Tale End? I like some of you might say he's wasting his life away on lost cause, but then again who are we to say it's a lost cause?



If there was a guideline for these sort of things it probably won't be any easier too. I'm just saying, who knows it might come in handy. Having titles like Dating For Dummies isn't gonna make anyone feel better. However, the question begs, Where do one draw a line between loyalty of love and obession? I kept telling him it was foolish to wait, but sometimes I feel bad for the times I've told him so. How could someone who lost all ounce of love in his heart advise his friend who's heart is overflowing with it... I was brought back to the past when it all fell apart, where I was left devastated. Left to sweep away the broken pieces of my heart on the ground. With every piece, I cried out a prayer, hoping she might come back.





That was ancient history.





Nowadays, I find myself avoiding the topic of love. Sure, I can talk about relationships anytime and flirt all the time but most of those times (say 99%) my mind not my heart that takes over.


Most certainly if I could in out of the ordinary come across someone who can open my heart and fill it with a little bit of love, I'd give it a second try. Till then, I'm just another cold heartless being who rented his soul to the corrupted nonsense of the world.





P.S. To those who didn't get the previous post, don't try, i typed it out of boredom.

The Man Of Countless Masks

Do I seem different today? Like another person entirely
At times I'm tense, At times I look like a fool.
Before you know it, Gasp! Who are you?
Well it's me, how can't you see?

I cry while I laugh
I shout while I whisper
I break down while appearing calm
Am I still the biggest liar in town?

Hate me, love me, despise me, whichever that pleases your heart
However, do keep in mind
Do not judge the man you see
It's just one of his countless masks for you and me